Mag Moment #1...From the magazine Psychology Today October 2010...Article: Revenge of the Introverts by Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D.

For my first Mag Moment entry, I'd like to present to you an article from the magazine Psychology Today. Online this article may be found at http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201008/revenge-the-introvert. Considering how magazines are published, writing about the October 2010 issue is extremely late right now lol but I wanted to blog about this article since I didn't have this blog when I first read it. Hurry to the store though! It's only supposed to display until November 1st.

To start, simply put, introverts are those who are satisfied with internal stimulation (reflection and solitude) while extraverts thrive on external stimulation (social life and activities that boost the mood). Based on society today, you would think that there are more extraverts than introverts since they hog the spotlight so to speak. However, there are plenty of introverts around. In fact, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality test shows that 50% of the U.S. population are introverts. Many people think being introverted just means your extremely shy. This article helped me to see that it's not that at all. In fact, shy people find it difficult to socialize period while introverts tend to become overwhelmed with too much social engagement; they are not against it totally. Also, extraverts and introverts get a boost in mood from the company of others.

One thing that makes being an introvert seem so taboo here in the U.S. is something called a personality-culture clash. Basically, individualism and being talkative is dominant here and in Germany, whereas in other places such as Finland and East Asia, silence and privacy are values. As brought out in the article, remaining silent in verbal cultures presents a sort of problem. Many introverts feel the need to apologize and feel guilty about what works best for them because of this problem.

At the end of the article is a section entitled What Not to Say to An Introvert. Here are the things you want to avoid:

• "Why don't you like parties? Don't you like people?"
• "Surprise, we've decided to bring the family and stay with you for the weekend."
• Don't demand immediate feedback from an introvert.
• Don't ask introverts why they're not contributing in meetings.
• Don't interrupt if an introvert does get to talking.
• Above all, they hate people telling them how they can be more extraverted.

There were many other articles of course in this issue of the magazine but that was the main article. Unless you're able to catch it on the newsstand, visit http://www.psychologytoday.com/ to see the other contents. They include 5 body language giveaways, 7 rules of great bosses, the bilingual advantage, and many others.

Well this ends the first ever Breezy's Books Mag Moment. I hope you found it to be brief and to the point. Also, in case some people reading this aren't avid readers, hopefully these short intermissions between my book posts will encourage you to read. Reading helps to increase vocabulary you know. :-)

P.S. The author Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D., is an author and assistant clinical professor at the West Virginia University School of Medicine. Her most recent book is Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength.

~BB~

Marry Him - The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb

Long title, right? Well, Breezy's here to tell you it's worth the read. Why? Because it's a long title therefore the book encompasses alot. Lol but no in all seriousness this week's book is brilliant and, of course, tailored to the ladies. However, my manly men, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't dive into this book as well. It may just surprise you with things about women that you didn't know. (Shocking!!! I mean what could there possibly be in this book that you men didn't know about women! *Please note the blatant sarcasm*)

Now is there one thing I must point out about Ms. Gottlieb. As of the publishing of this book, she is still single and in her 40s. I know, I know. I was thinking um why should I listen to any advice in this book if the author herself is still single? But I have found the book to be exactly as described on the back book flap. There it says, "Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right."

So let's dig in, shall we? First off I LOVE the quote at the beginning. "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." *sigh* That is such a wonderful feeling. Of course, then I came back to said reality and remember that lust can make u an insomniac as well lol. The next thing I must mention is the list she made of what she would be looking for if she visited the Husband Store (see joke at the beginning of the book for more details). It's hilarious but I know some women can relate. The qualities are intelligent, kind, extremely funny, curious, loves kids, financially stable, emotionally stable, sexy, romantic, passionate, compassionate, irreverent, intuitive, generous, same religion but not too religious, optimistic but not naive, ambitious but not a workaholic, talented but humble, warm but not clingy, grounded but not boring, soulful but not new-agey (feel free to take a breath here), vulnerable but not weak, quirky but not weird, free-spirited but responsible, charismatic but genuine, strong but sensitive (heard of women wanting this quality wayyyy too many times in my life), athletic but not a sports nut, open-minded but has conviction, decisive but not bossy, mature but not old, creative but not an artist, supportive of my dreams and goals, has a sense of wonderment about the world, is close to my age, good listener and communicator, flexible and can compromise, sophisticated - well-educated, well-traveled, has been around, over 5'-10" but under 6'-0" (talk about specific lol), has a head full of hair - wavy and dark would be nice but no blondes, has shared political views, has shared values, is not into sci-fi or comic books, has good taste/sense of aesthetics, health-conscious and physically fit, cares about the community at large, cares about animals, competent, handy around the house, cooks, likes the outdoors - hiking, biking, and rollerblading, likes my friends - and I like his, not moody, trustworthy, is a team player, is literary and enjoys wordplay, is math- or science-oriented, likes discussing - but not arguing about - politics and world events, stylish, stimulating, not a slob - respectful of our living space, AND finally is madly in love with me. *phew!*

Now I know it sounds horrible but, as she explained later, a married friend put her up to making a list because she didn't have one (I don't either for that matter). But when she actually took the time to sit down and make one, she began to think of her past relationships (as we all would probably do) and think about the things in those situations that didn't work for her. There...now doesn't that make the list seem just a teeny bit less horrible? :-) (Don't answer that question, men.) Anyway, I'm happy to say that by writing this list and crossing off things she could deal with not having (like cooking and height), she began to see that, like her friend suggested, maybe some of those qualities weren't that important when it came to a happy marriage anyway. So there's your first tip, ladies. If you haven't done so, make a husband quality list. Hopefully, at the end of writing it you'll see how ridiculous some of your requests are as well. If you finish your list and you still think you can find that guy, please read this book.

I'm only going to touch on a few things I enjoyed (especially since that list was enough reading in itself). One thing I found to be particularly interesting is that she said feminism totally f'ed up her love live. Not that the whole any thing you can do I can do better phase did it, but the feminism we deal with more today. Today, women have freedom and choice in every part of our lives. We can pursue careers and decide to not get married at all. Sometimes even the fact that we don't need a man can feel empowering. She's right, ladies. Right now we live in a time where we are supposed to be independent and self-sufficient and if we aren't we seem eh a little weak and needy. On top of that, we come out of our 20's and 30's believing we should have it all. To have it all means to not compromise on anything including who we choose to date. We set high standards and the higher those standards are, the more empowered we are. If we want it, we should have it. But what happens when what we want is too extreme? Well, then you end up "empowering yourself" out of a good mate. For shame.

Rest assured, this book isn't all about Lori's experiences in love. She talked with numerous women, both single and married, and even consulted some professional matchmakers. Some of my favorite chapters were Mondays with Evan. These were conversations she had with her friend, a dating coach, that led to numerous laughs and eye-openers. He encouraged her not to be a Ms. Go With The Flow type of woman but instead to be a woman that knew how to change her perspective. You've got to read them to enjoy them.

One of the last things in the book is her dating public service announcement. She ends with the words, "You want to think your ideal guy will magically land on your doorstep tomorrow? That's fine. You want to look at how you might get reasonable about the way you date so that happiness comes by easier? That's fine too. Remember, the choice is yours. You have the information. The rest is up to you."

I wish I could say the same but I didn't write the whole book out for you. So I'll just say: If you want the information to help you decide if you want to wait for your ideal guy to magically land on your lap :-) or if you're willing to change the way you look at things to find the the perfect guy for you, then read the book.

I loved this book so that I could write about it for the rest of the night. But eh I think I've said enough. :-) So get a nice warm mug of apple cider, learn to accept some positive criticism (I definitely had to while reading this), and also find your sense of humor. If you do, you'll enjoy this book. For you guys, maybe you'll find some pointers on getting the girl you like to realize that you'll be perfect for each other.

P.S. Find out more about the author at http://www.lorigottlieb.com/!

~BB~

Brain Candy by Garth Sundem

Ugh..it's hard to believe that for my first post I'm having writer's block even though I already know what I'm  going to be writing about O_o. Lol I guess that's a good thing though because this book was so awesome I'm not sure where to start. I will say though that lately I've really been into books about the brain (it goes hand in hand with my addiction to any iPhone app or game that has to do with training the brain).

I picked this book up the other day from none other than Barnes & Noble (a company I worked for for a very short period of time - however that's another story). Immediately I was drawn to the lollipop on the cover....ok so that's a lie. I was drawn to the table that said "Buy 2, Get the 3rd free". I mean who doesn't love a good book deal? Good job, sneaky B&N people. So, like most people, the first thing I did was read the back cover (it's a paperback book). What I found were phrases like "tastier than a Twizzler and more protein-packed than a spinach smoothie" and "succulent neurological nuggets." Hmmm...is anyone else hungry?? The back of the book also has a brief overview of the tidbits inside. The ones that caught my interest were why you should be writing bad poetry, the mental benefits of coffee and cigarettes (my friend Joe would love to hear about that!), and what pigeons know about art. But, the back of the book is absolutely nothing compared to the vast amount of knowledge (and huge words that I had to look up to make sure I was pronouncing right) inside. This reminds me one of those movies that your dying to see because of the previews. Then, when you finally get to see the movie, you see the wise people who put the trailer together added just the right amount of scenes to intrigue you but not enough to give the whole movie away. :-) That always makes my day. And so with that being said, ladies and gents, I hope to not spoil the book for you either.

This book is filled with science, paradoxes, logic, illogic and various puzzles. Although it jumps back and forth between these subjects, it's actually a really good thing. I'm the kind of person that likes a little distraction if I'm reading something that's important and can't be put in laymen's terms. So here are some contents that I especially liked:

• Action and Free Will: You may think that 100% of the time you are the only one that can control your actions. However, the truth is you can act without knowing it, can think you've acted without actually doing so, and can intend to act and think you've acted without moving at all. Funny, right? Well Garth tells you how this can be so with the use of your parietal cortex.
• Crazy People Weren't Just Invented in the 20th Century: For instance, Roman emperor Caligula committed incest with and pimping of his sisters. Also, Christian VII of Denmark enjoyed roaming through streets beating subjects with a spiked mace and having himself stretched on the rack and flogged.
• Brain-Deflating Fallacies to Win Any Argument: These are throughout the book. You'll enjoy them. He calls them strategies to ensure dominance in debate club and/or with an unsuspecting significant other.
• Algebraic Eight-Ball: Different algebraic equations to calculate situations like at what age will technology overtake your ability to use it, the chances that he/she is the one, and men what's your sex appeal.
• Wild Kingdom: These are short paragraphs in the book about animal brains. My fave was the one about chickens liking models.

The only thing I did not care for in this book was the use of nothing but black and white imaging. I would have preferred that some of the images were in color. However, with the internet and Google at most people's fingertips nowadays, it is simple to just search for the picture online. Problem solved!

All in all, I loved this book from cover to cover. I'm even reading it again but this time to a friend. My advice after purchasing this book is just to sit back with your drink of choice, a bookmark (you may not finish it in one sitting), and a pencil. You're going to love what's inside!

P.S. I plan to buy his other book The Geeks' Guide to World Domination sometime in the near future. Also, check out the author's website at http://www.garthsundem.com/.

~BB~