Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander

Well, the last few posts have been for my ladies. But this week, I want to go in another direction. Let's take it to the funny, humorous side of life with this book all about white people. Now before anyone gets offended, I just want to start off by saying that the guy who wrote this book is indeed white or Caucasian (whichever you prefer) himself. I think that makes it just THAT much more funnier.

Usually I don't go right to the back of the book, but in this one it kind of serves as a table of contents since at the beginning he just jumps right to the traits of white people. Now, of course, we all know that there is no way to write a book on ALL of the things that any one race does. Even if you think that you did, you would always end up causing arguments, disagreements, and hurt feelings. However, there is no denying that in a such a book there will always be at least one thing that you can agree that you do or that someone of your race does. Anyway, I just wanted to get that thought out of the way before I proceeded into the contents of the book.

So, as I was writing before, in the back of the book he lists all of the 150 traits in a check-off list and then you have the opportunity to tally up your checkmarks at the end to determine your whiteness percentage lol. I must admit I do ALOT of things on this list. Those traits have to do with coffee, religions their parents don't belong to, film festivals, assists, farmer's markets, organic food, diversity, Barack Obama, making you feel bad for not going outside, Wes Anderson movies, Asian girls, nonprofit organizations, tea, having black friends, yoga, gifted children, hating their parents, awareness, international travel, being an expert on your culture, writer's workshops, having two last names, microbreweries,wine, David Sedaris, Manhattan (and Brooklyn, too!), marathons, not having a TV, '80s night, Wrigley Field, snowboarding, veganism/vegetarianism, marijuana, architecture, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart/The Colbert Report, brunch, renovations, Arrested Development, Netflix, Apple products, indie music, sushi, plays, public radio, Asian fusion food, the Sunday New York Times, Liberal Arts degrees, Whole Foods and grocery co-ops, vintage, irony, living by the water, Sarah Silverman, dogs, kitchen gadgets, apologies, lawyers, documentaries, Japan, natural medicine, Toyota Prius, bicycles, knowing what's best for poor people, expensive sandwiches, recycling, coed sports, divorce, standing still at concerts, Michael Gondry, Mos Def, difficult breakups, being the only white person around, study abroad, gentrification, Oscar parties, threatening to move to Canada, bottles of water, musical comedy, multilingual children, modern furniture, the idea of soccer, graduate school, hating corporations, bad memories of high school, t-shirts, The Wire, shorts, outdoor performance clothes, having gay friends, St. Partick's Day dinner parties, San Francisco, music piracy, Rugby, New Balance shoes, beards, having children in their late thirties, red hair, Noam Chomsky, non-motorized boating, the Boston Red Sox, scarves, cleanses, self-deprecating humor, integrity, pretending to be a Canadian when traveling abroad, the Criterion collection, natural childbirth, high school English teachers, native wisdom, trying too hard, Portland Oregon, free health care, Che Guevera,, The New Yorker, non-American news sources, subtitles, premium juice, the ACLU, plaid, platonic friendships, reusable shopping bags, acoustic covers, Dave Chappelle, Tibet, Nintendo Wii, conspiracies, The Simpsons, avoiding confrontation, DJs, carbon offsets, following their dreams, not having cash, adopting foreign children, LEED certification, expensive strollers, singer-songwriters, eating outside, books, music festivals, glasses, McSweeney's, hardwood floors, bakeries, modern art museums, cheese, therapy, public transportation that is not a bus, dive bars, self-importance, and rock climbing. Any of them sound like you would be involved in it too? Watch out! You just might act more white than you think lol.

Everything in this book is hilarious so I'm just going to randomly pick say 10 different page numbers and let you in on the funny! Alright so the first page number is 10. On this page we find, the subjects Barack Obama and making you feel bad for not going outside. White people like Barack Obama because they are afraid that if they don't they will be considered racist. Lol and that is all that Christian said on that subject. As for the other subject, Christian mentions that white people love to be outside. It is hardwired in white people's minds that the greatest thing anyone can do in their free time is hike/bike/walk outdoors. So for instance, if a white person sees you about to sit down on the couch and enjoy a game, they will that you are wasting your life away. If you ignore them though, they will eventually go away.

The next page number is 84 and on here we find the subject of divorce. If you are in a room with more than five white people, it is a statistical certainty that at least two of them have divorced parents and at least one has an ex-wife or husband. In fact, the combination of alcohol and stories about divorce is the easiest and most efficient way to gain the trust and admiration of a white person. If the man/woman is going through a divorce, do not be too concerned. A lifetime of difficult  breakups has prepared them. The best thing that you can do is just assure them that they deserve better.

On page 123 of this definitve guide to white people, we are taught about how they view music piracy. White people have always been renowned for having ridiculously large music collections. When you see a white male with a full iPod, ask him if all of his music is legal. If he doesn't immediately start talking about his right to pirate music, he will rattle off statistics about how most musicians don't make money from albums. He will walk you through the process of how record labels are set up to reward the corporation and fundamentally rob the artist of their rights, royalties, and creativity. Because of the availability of music online, a very strict social hierachy has been created within the white culture whereby someone with a large MP3 collection is considered "normal," a large CD collection is considered to be "better," and a person with a large vinyl collection is recognized as "elite." It is recommended, however, that you do not let this conversation about music drag on much longer or you will be subject to them talking for hours about bands you've never heard of.

On to page 6 we go and there we find the subjects assists and farmer's markets. We all know that in the game of basketball, passing is a must. Trying to be a white guy who dunks is like trying to be a white rapper -- yea, there are a few, but you have to work twice as hard for half the results. One explanation is that white people still feel guilty over slavery, colonialism, and the crusades, so passing is a way to make up for it. More importantly, it makes them feel good to help others. White people like farmer's markets for a number of reasons. The first is their undying need to support local economies and small businesses. Some of the other reasons include: it's outside, they can bring their dogs and children in expensive strollers, and they get to see other white people.

Now on to page 199. I've never even heard of a dive bar and since I always like learning something new, I enjoyed reading this part. Anyway, a dive bar is a place with cheap drinks and minimal decoration that was formerly frequented by those who dislike white people. For white people who do not like to dance, it is acknowledged as the best place to spend a night out. A common fantasy is for a white person to "discover" a dive bar and quickly become a fixture at the place so that the regulars will accept them as one of their own. After white people have found a good dive bar, they slowly start to take over by bringing friends who bring friends who bring friends who bring friends lol. By the time they have taken over, all of the original locals have moved on from the bar. If you are one of the remaining locals, you can always count on a free drink from that original white person to toast to the good old days.

Here on page 176, we learn all about how white people feel about following their dreams. White people are required to support anyone who decides to follow their dreams, regardless of the likelihood of success. Generally a white person is most likely to follow their dream between the ages of 18 and 25. The majority will wait until they finish college before moving away to chase their dream of being an actor, writer, photographer, director, artist, musician, DJ or producer. Regardless of how catastrophic and irresponsible their actions are, if the end goal is to "follow their dreams" you must support them blindly or else you will be seen as a Simon Cowell-esque figure who is hated by all as a crusher of hope.

On page 196, we are thrust into the wonderful world of cheese lol. White people are expected to have an extensive and deep knowledge of cheese, cheese regions, and proper cheese pairings. Knowing your way around a cheese plate can help to improve your standing with white people in an instant. It is best to treat cheese like indie music in so much as it's best to like cheese that no one has ever heard of. If you are planning on hosting an event with white people, it's a good idea to head over to a gourmet store and visit its cheese section. Next all you have to do is take notes on what the cheese guy says and then repeat all of it at your party.

White people are absolutely crazy for Netflix because all of them are convinced that there is a global conspiracy to keep good, independent, groundbreaking films from mainstream distribution. Page 46 also tells us that to them, Netflix is a brand-new way for independent filmmakers to find an audience. By subscribing, white people believe that they are changing the film industry, supporting innovation, and contributing to a cultural revolution in film.

Let's move on to page 12 where we get to learn all about white people and their love for Asian girls lol. White men love Asian women so much that they will go to extremes like stating that Sandra Oh is sexy, teaching English in Asia, playing in a coed volleyball league, or attending institutions such as UBC or UCLA. Another factor that draws white guys to Asian women is that white women are jealous of them. When white guy and Asian girl marry, they produce hybrids that are aesthetically pleasing but annoying. This practice is also a means by which white people can catch up to the Asian peoples in the population race, as the hybrids often act white rather than Asian.

Last but not least, in this book we learn that white people love having black friends. This article starts on page 15 and is very funny and, to some, enlightening. The most important role that black friends can play in white culture is that they can be used as physical evidence that white people are not racist. Black friends can also be used to confirm that a white person is knowledgeable about African-American culture. Many white people are constantly trying to recognized as experts, and many consider it a life achievement to be befriended by a black person. Also note that all white people fantasize about being brought to an authentic "African-American" experience such as a Baptist church or a barbecue restaurant in a neighborhood that they are afraid of. Dating, marrying, and having a child with a black person is seen as one of the greatest things a white person can do. It delivers a lifetime of opportunities to get offended and feel superior to friends with white children.

As you can see from the first few paragraphs, there are so many traits in this book to cover but time is running away from me. I would loved to type about rock climbing, expensive sandwiches, and The Simpsons lol. However, if you are curious as to more of the information found in this book that I did not cover, please feel free to leave a comment.

Until next time!

~BB~

Beauty Basics and Beyond: 101 Ways to Keep Your Hair and Skin Fabulous by Patricia Hinds

Well, ladies, it's that time of year when we start giving a little more attention to our hair and skin thanks to the winter winds and chilly temperatures. So I've decided to post this time about a book straight from the people of Essence magazine. It's chock full of tips for anytime of year. This week's book is less of a book really and more like a bible!

In this post, I'm just going to highlight a few main points to keep in mind having to do with hair, skin, face, and body. First, let's assess your tresses.

To keep your hair healthy and looking great, you have to know its strengths and weaknesses, what stresses it, and what it can and cannot do. You must know your texture and type. Do tests on your hair to determine its texture, type, porosity, and elasticity. This book has so many facts about hair I could possibly take up your whole night and all of tomorrow to tell you about it. It covers everything like relaxed hair, braids and weaves, locs, wigs, and natural hair. So I hope you just research it for yourself. Please leave a comment or send me a message if you are interested in hearing more about what it says about your specific hair type.

Next let's move on to the face. Some skin-enhancing vitamins to take are Vitamin A, B Complex, B2 (Riboflavin), B3 (Niacin, Nicotinic Acid, Niacinamide), B5 (Pantothenic Acid), B6 (Pyridoxine), B12 (Cyanocobalamin), C, and E. You also want to research biotin and the healthy effect it can have on your hair. Nine habits that stand in the way of you and great skin are touching your face, wearing oil-based makeup and moisturizers, sleeping with makeup on, using greasy pomades and oily hair sprays, drinking too little water, skipping the sunblock, stressing out (sometimes extremely hard not to do), not eating several servings of fruits and vegetables each day, and diagnosing and treating breakouts and rashes yourself. The next few tips found in this section give some wonderful at home ways to do facials and masks to further benefit your skin. By the way, did you know that the shelf life of foundation is 6-12 months? For powder, it's 8-12 months. For concealer, it's 4-8 months. For eye shadow, it's 3-12 months. For mascara, it's 3 months. For lipstick, it's 3 years.

Last but not least, the book talks about the body in general. This section is full of spa ideas, massage techniques, and hair removal tips. It also reminds us not to neglect our elbows, knees, and hands. Here are a few tips: 1. Condition with avocados. The oil easily penetrates the skin, making it an ideal ingredient for moisturizing body treatments. 2. Switch to soy. As an ingredient in skin care products, soy extract softens and smoothes skin, replenishes moisture, helps brighten dark spots and is a proven antioxidant. 3. Peel a pomegranate. The seeds are excellent for body buffing, and the fruit provides a mild astringent with antioxidant properties. 4. Get into grapes. Red, green, or purple as grapeseed extract in some products can fight free radicals and calm the skin. 5. Carrot, celery and beet juice cleanse the liver and intestines, which will help clear up the complexion.

That's all for now. Sorry that compared to my other posts, this one is extremely short. It was just that hard for me to pick out which points I could bring out without actually telling you the entire contents of the book! Lol! As always, if you would like to know more, just message me or leave me a comment. Until next week....

~BB~

Girl, Make Your Money Grow! by Glinda Bridgforth and Gail Perry-Mason

Hey ladies and gents! Welcome back! I apologize for not posting last Thursday. If I had remembered that it was a national holiday, I would have given advance notice that I wouldn't be posting. :-( Anyway back to the books!

The book in the spotlight this week is a sequel, if you will, to the previous book. This time Ms. Bridgforth had some help from the VP of Financial Services at Oppenheimer & Co., Inc. to write it - Ms. Gail Perry-Mason. This time around I'm just going to bring out some main points from each chapter. Let's dig in, shall we?

Chapter One: Sisters Can't Afford Not to Invest
One fundamental truth to keep in mind is if you work hard for your money then you deserve to see it grow not go. Over time, investing allows you to stop working for your rent or mortgage, car payments, utility bills, etc. so that you can start working for yourself. (Italics theirs.) According to Mellody Hobson, president of Ariel Captial Management, Inc., the best way to make your money grow is to adopt a long-term view of investing. You watch your money and you move it when necessary, but don't be overly concerned about a week's or a month's performance. Investing is not for the short term, so don't go into it thinking that you'll just take your money out after two years. Yet still remain aware of current economic conditions and how they affect certain industries. The sooner you start investing the better! Remember the Rule of 72: If your rate of return is 8% per year, then you divide 8 into 72, which equals 9. So in 9 years your investment of $1,000 would be worth $2,000 but only if you do not touch it.

Still, some people are reluctant to start investing because they worry about keeping an eye on their investments 24/7 and that they'll never learn how to read stock pages. But according to this book, once you get the hang of it, it's easy. To familiarize yourself with terms, try watching the news or reading USA Today. One way to speed up your investment education is to find an investment adviser. Another easy approach to educating yourself is by paying attention to the brands you buy when you go grocery shopping. Pay attention to which companies own which products. By buying from them, you are contributing to the share value their company. Why not invest so you can get a little of that money back?

Chapter Two: Clear the Debt and Clear the Deck - for Investing
First things first. You must check (and keep track of) your spending. I don't think this point can be stressed enough. No matter how well you plan to spend your paycheck, if you continue to increase your debt load, it's unlikely that you will make your money grow. Debt doesn't just mean credit cards either. Committing to anything that you can't afford puts you further in the hole. Glinda and Gail recommend another book entitled How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt and Live Prosperously by Jerrold Mundis. His book is based on the principles of Debtors Anonymous.

Chapter Three: Living on Fifth Avenue: Exciting Ways to Create Five Streams of Income
Take a look at the hobbies or things that you enjoy doing in your spare time. Is there a possible way that you can make some extra income by helping others to do the same? If not, there are a few other ways to generate some extra income:
1. Mystery Shoppers - While this is not recommended for compulsive shoppers or buyers, this gig is a fun way to make some extra money. Mystery shoppers work market research companies and make about $15 to $25 per shopping trip. Check out Athpower.com, Secretshopnet.com, and Bestmark.com to get you started.
2. Consignment Selling and Buying - If you have clothes that are in good shape but that you no longer wear, take them to a consignment shop! Be sure to check whether the store pays you in cash or with store credit.
3. Own a Diebold ATM or Vending Machine - Your main responsibility with this venture is to find the right location. Diebold offers several options for owning a machine so check them out at http://www.diebold.com/. Be sure to do your homework first! If you go the vending machine route, you will be responsible for resupplying it.
4. Giving Your Opinion - Becoming a participant in a focus group is another way to make money outside of your regular job. You may be paid as much as $75 per hour and up to $800 per day. Do a Web search for focus groups.

Chapter Four: Fire Up Your Imagination to Dream Again
You can use your talents, savings, and opportunities to move toward a larger purpose. By identifying your dreams and goals, you'll gain the motivation to continue transforming any damaging beliefs and spending patterns. Create your own personal Mission Statement. It can give you a renewed sense of clarity and purpose. Mission Statements help us to recognize our hearts' desires and then keep them in sight despite the day-to-day obligations we face.

Chapter Five: Insuring Yourself and Your Investments
This chapter basically covers various types of insurance and professional companies to help you make sense of it all. They cover health, life, homeowner's, renter's, mortgage, disability, and long-term care insurance.

Chapter Six: Don't Let Your Assets Retire Before You
In this chapter, Glinda and Gail list the things you can do at different stages in your life. In your twenties and mid-thirties, you can enroll in your company's retirement plan, open both regular and Roth IRA accounts, and DO NOT borrow from your 401(k). From your mid-thirties through forty-five, increase your contribution in your retirement plan, review your financial statements more often, balance your investments annually, and request a benefit printout from the Social Security Administration. From your mid-forties through sixty-two, do all of the above and remember not to take early distributions from your retirement plan before age 59 1/2. From sixty-two to eighty and beyond, get investment checkups annually, check your investment strategies for income for a larger percentage of your investments.

Chapter Seven: Owning Your Piece of the Rock
After reading just the first few parts of this chapter, I must say I'm ready to own a house! Lol. The emotional benefits of homeownership include increased indoor and outdoor living space, the comforting sense of privacy and stability, and personal security. Not long ago, African Americans owned more land per capita than any other American ethnic group. Too many of us spend disproportionately more on vehicles and material possessions than on real estate. I can't help but think of this fact when I see a Range Rover, Mercedes-Benz or similar cars regularly parked in an apartment complex's parking lot. There is nothing wrong with owning a vehicle that's worth $40k or more however if you are still paying rent to a landlord, you may want to reexamine your priorities. Four good economic reasons to purchase a home are tax deductions, budget stability, appreciation, and investment leverage. Of course, the book goes into further detail on each reason. But you'll have to read it to find out more. :-) She also talks about buying on a land contract, investing in income property (one thing I've considered before), inherited property, and other income property investment options.

Chapter Eight: Taking the Mystery Out of the Market
Look at products that you use regularly and ask yourself the following questions: Where do I shop? What do I buy? What makeup do I wear? Where do I bank? What kind of purse do I carry? Where do I go for vacation? What do I eat? What kind of car do I drive? What kind of gas do I use? What type of computer do I own? What types of entertainment do I like?
When you think about it with those questions, there are really tons of companies to invest in. Remember that by investing in a company, you are becoming a shareholder and therefore are a part owner (no matter how small) of that company. Research the stock symbols for the companies you are interested in investing in. After you purchase a stock, recheck the broker ratings and "insider" trading activity on a regular basis.

Chapter Nine: Investing in Stocks, Bonds, and Mutual Funds
This chapter helps you to understand in depth just what stocks, bond, and mutual funds are all about. There is soooo much information in this chapter that if I tried to simplify it or bring out major points, I would no doubt be leaving out much, much more that you would need to know. So, of course and as always, I thoroughly recommend reading this book.

Chapter Ten: What's Your Investment Style?
The last but certainly not least important chapter is on your investment style. Black women have long been known for their style and the unique ways in which they express it. You can have the same kind of attitude and confidence towards your investment style. The part I especially enjoyed reading (and would like to implement soon) is starting an investment club. There are 13 things to do in order to get your club on the right track: 1. Introduce the idea to someone you know. 2. Agree on a common investment philosophy. 3. Establish rules. 4. Vote on a monthly contribution amount. 5. Elect officers and adopt an investment club agreement. 6. Schedule a regular club meeting date and time. 7. Delegate responsibilities. 8. Promote education. 9. Allow for debate. 10. Invite professionals to some of your meetings. 11. Consider enrolling the club with the NAIC (National Association of Investors Corporation). 12. Place your club online. and 13. Hold a special club dinner to socialize.

When I think about those guidelines seem like a good fit for most productive clubs that anyone is thinking of starting! Tidbits to remember while building your portfolio are start with cash, fully fund your retirement plan at work first, and be clear on the amount of risk your comfortable with.

I think with the many, many helpful points brought out in this book, everyone (not just my African-American ladies but all ladies) can rest assured that making your money grow is not as hard as it may seem. It just takes a cup of determination, a tablespoon of research, and a gallon of discipline lol. This book is a must-have guide for any woman who wants to have power over her money.

~BB~